Saphroneth's smaller snippets

He tutted. "So I have to use the name Han Solo professionally, or nobody knows who I am. Han Organa! I'm proud of that name, because it actually means something to me."

"I married Leia Organa, that's what," Han answered. "So I took her name. Normally it'd be the other way around, but I wouldn't want to make her give up what she kept from the family who raised her, and I wanted to give up the Solo name but it just won't stop following me around!"

This is actually really really sweet and I like it a lot.

Han can be awkwardly adorable at times.

Stemming, of course from the "You're Han Solo?"/"I used to be." line/response from the film.

The idea that the only language being spoken is Basic and that all names are evaluated for meaning in English is, well... probably the error here. Remember, there is a real sportsman called Gregor Fučka.

Kit could quite easily translate in ancient Naulotan to a rough equivalent of "Geoffrey", with Fisto being a profession-based name like our "Archer".

Rereading some of the Star Wars shorts here, especially the ones with a single overlooked flaw throwing plans out of whack, and remembering a short story of the Death Star II construction manager during Return of the Jedi who, on taking the post, discovered just how many shortcuts and compromises his predecessors used to try to keep to a ridiculously short construction schedule which he, as the one to actually finish it, now is stuck with, all led me to a thought.

What if, when it first fired, the Death Star II's main weapon discharge shockwave met the fact that the support stress and superstructure was mostly not built, incomplete or simple not capable of matching the rated strength in the designs, causing the station to simple rip itself apart?

Rereading some of the Star Wars shorts here, especially the ones with a single overlooked flaw throwing plans out of whack, and remembering a short story of the Death Star II construction manager during Return of the Jedi who, on taking the post, discovered just how many shortcuts and compromises his predecessors used to try to keep to a ridiculously short construction schedule which he, as the one to actually finish it, now is stuck with, all led me to a thought.

What if, when it first fired, the Death Star II's main weapon discharge shockwave met the fact that the support stress and superstructure was mostly not built, incomplete or simple not capable of matching the rated strength in the designs, causing the station to simple rip itself apart?

Ah, the Soviet style of construction. (Well, for buildings - Soviet spacecraft didn't generally take shortcuts past early testing).

To paraphase Jenny Nicholson.

So if people are named after things on purpose because they mean things. Man some people get screwed. Like. What did Slam Fisto do exactly?

...there's a character called Slam Fisto? I mean, I know about Kit Fisto, but "Slam"?

China has some examples there as well. And Palps have encouraged a great deal of corruption. So now he pays for it

Picture this. He threatens Luke with a fully operational Death Star. But when they try to fire it just makes a giant mechanical fart noise and starts falling apart.

(Think he'd end up exploding at the same time as the button was pushed?)

He wasn't present at any of the first Death Star's firing in canon (to my knowledge, at least), so I would find it more plausible for him to explode (literally) with rage when he hears of the Death Star's failure

Is that compressor on the intake line something that is in the movie itself? With or without the consequences stated. Haven't seen the movie itself.

Yes, it is, it's one of the other things they discuss in this scene's film equivalent.

I like the seed for the 'hurf durf surname now stranger's weirdness in terms of Rey thinking hard about names.

What did Slam Fisto do exactly?

I do my level best to never ask, in case the answer's a demonstration.

To paraphase Jenny Nicholson.

So if people are named after things on purpose because they mean things. Man some people get screwed. Like. What did Slam Fisto do exactly?

...there's a character called Slam Fisto? I mean, I know about Kit Fisto, but "Slam"?

I do my level best to never ask, in case the answer's a demonstration.

Well, he…Slams Fists. "Punchy" was already taken. And just "Fist" has been taken ad nauseam. What? He's a Hutt Enforcer. What did you think he did?

Given the TIE fighters specific design weaknesses or 'cost-saving measures', now I'm imagining that happening with the first Death Star. With corruption siphoning off money for other projects, and the like. Because who really needs to destroy planets, anyways? No one is actually going to fire the thing, so no one is going to notice.

I can't help but think of the awkwardness that would take the place of A New Hope, the Millennium Falcon comes across two debris fields, no princess, no grand enforcer, largely irrelevant Death Star schematics, and a handful of people trying to figure out what to do now.

The wookie added a comment, and Rey looked between human and nonhuman.

Wookiee.

I liked that.

I can't help but think of the awkwardness that would take the place of A New Hope, the Millennium Falcon comes across two debris fields, no princess, no grand enforcer, largely irrelevant Death Star schematics, and a handful of people trying to figure out what to do now.

I mean, Vader drops into where the Death Star is meant to be after capturing Leia and he encounters the debris field of the Death Star from where it did it's test firing from Legends canon? Or if we go with Disney canon? For maximum fun? The Death Star appears at Scarif Base after it's first firing, Tarkin orders them to fire and then the Death Star fires but then the reactor goes into critical meltdown for firing too soon after the Jedi Holy City of Jedha? So Leia is escaping with the plans, and suddenly the Death Star goes boom? And suddenly the Empire wants the Death Star Plans to figure out how to build a new Death Star without that problem?

New Hope goes mostly the same, just a Surviving Tarkin has turned up with a fleet at Alderan and decides to Base Delta Zero it. While R2 who has the plans is like, (Spoilering it if Saph doesn't want to read R2 being R2) "Seriously, you expected this piece of shit to actually work? Like honestly, not even if Anakin was still alive," [Obi-Wan coughs awkwardly], "Could he fix this uttter load of kriffing crap." but basically the plans are crap and R2 is laughing at them ever working.

I think the Rogue One Timeline of Disney canon would be even worse for The Empire in this case. They built a planet destroyer, fucked up, used it in obvious engagements till it blew up. Then Tarkin orders a Base Delta Zero of a Core World on his, "Fear will keep the systems in line," without a functioning Death Star to back it up. LIke, The Galactic Civil War at this point properly kicks off.

The most reasonable explanation though is that they both evolved from earlier "strong man" heroic motifs (which probably had at least many of the commonalities listed above) and were then given a local context.

Probably a hefty dose of Giglamesh and some Enkidu, diluted through a series of Akkadian, Assyrian, Hittite, and other lenses.

"Who installed a compressor on the ignition line? We need to get that thing off or it'll blow the hyperdrive sooner…"

Needed another word.

Nah, that hyperdrive is always ready to blow, the compressor is just accelerating the process.

What if, when it first fired, the Death Star II's main weapon discharge shockwave met the fact that the support stress and superstructure was mostly not built, incomplete or simple not capable of matching the rated strength in the designs, causing the station to simple rip itself apart?

That might be why it was only firing at anti-ship levels in the movie compared to anti-continent to anti-planetary levels of the previous one.

Well, he…Slams Fists. "Punchy" was already taken. And just "Fist" has been taken ad nauseam. What? He's a Hutt Enforcer. What did you think he did?

As "Slam" is another bit of slang for jail? I tend to avoid jail fisting.

As "Slam" is another bit of slang for jail? I tend to avoid jail fisting.

Slammer is a term for jail, slam just means hitting something.

Nah, that hyperdrive is always ready to blow, the compressor is just accelerating the process.

Exactly what I said.

"As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed," the Emperor said, triumph in his tone. "Now, witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational battle station!"

Luke looked at him in shock.

"Fire at will, Commander!" the Emperor said.

Fourteen months previously…

"Shipment IL-214-73 arriving," a petty officer reported.

"Thank goodness," muttered one of the technicians. "After the delays we've been having, we need to get those Khyber crystals into the third main focusing array. It's been on the critical path for a week."

He brought up the display, frowning. "All right, I think we can make up a bit of time if we just get them straight to cutting and installation."

"Don't we need to run them through the testing process first?" a more junior technician asked. "That's on the list."

"I know it's on the list," the senior tech replied. "But the list was written when they didn't expect there'd be rebel attacks hitting our supply lines."

He waved at the screen. "The testing process means heating each individual crystal up to eighteen hundred, even though we know Khyber can all handle temperatures of up to forty-seven-fifty. The cutting process doesn't rely on heat tolerance either. Any crystalline flaws will come out in cutting, and we can just junk them. It means cutting takes a bit longer, but by going straight to cutting we can save at several hours on the overall process. And you know how much time we've lost already."

The junior tech looked worried, then shook his head.

"All right," he replied. "I guess so."

"You need to learn how things are done in practice," the senior tech said. "No big deal."

Eleven months previously...

"I'm quite sure Rothana Heavy Engineering's XJ-15 hypermatter feed systems will meet your needs better than the alternatives," the Rothana representative said, as Admiral Jerjerrod examined the datasheet.

He wasn't so sure. The newer units had better specifications, certainly, but they weren't proven, and they were also somewhat more expensive.

"I don't think that's necessarily the case," he said, out loud. "While I appreciate Rothana's position, the Sienar alternative has similar flow rates and more proven applications."

The Rothana representative nodded, sagely.

"I understand entirely," he said. "However, I must point out that Rothana has some important additional information to present."

He held out a credit chip, which Jerjerrod took and inspected.

"Owing to the XJ-15's protracted development, we are willing to provide our test units at cost," the representative went on. "That is in addition to having a higher production rate than our competitors and a less committed production output."

Jerjerrod hesitated, then pocketed the credit chip.

"That all seems in order," he said. "The XJ-15 it is."

"Marvellous," the representative declared.

Nine months previously...

"I've examined the records that exist from the first Death Star," a senior technician said. "The amount of strain that was placed on the flash suppression systems was minimal to nonexistent. Even with the full firing that destroyed Alderaan, surviving records indicate that the flash suppressors had no more than a five percent load placed on them – an amount that can be handled by untreated durasteel."

The other men and women in the meeting looked at the data on the screen behind their colleague.

"You're suggesting we forego the duratemp treatment on the flash protection systems?" one of the women asked, cautiously. "I can see the advantages, but the downsides seem significant. I'd even say potentially destructive."

"It is my position that the cost of including the duratemp treatment is unacceptable," the tech replied. "It takes time and effort, including supervisory attention which cuts into the available man-hours on the project. We only have so much experienced manpower."

That drew winces, though none of the humans in the room drew attention to the fact that they were spending a lot of that time in interminable meetings.

"In the following presentation, I'll discuss my proposal and how it could shave as much as one week off the final completion timetable," the senior tech continued, flicking to the next screen of his presentation. "This model shows how the flash suppression systems are built around the main weapon…"

Six months previously…

"There simply isn't an option," the head of personnel replied. "Our existing system is not providing enough technicians and operators."

"This was quite sufficient for the first Death Star," Jerjerrod protested.

"The first Death Star was a project that took decades," the manager replied, shrugging. "It didn't come up at first, sir – for that I apologize – but if we are going to redress the problem, we need to act now. There is no alternative."

Jerjerrod rubbed his temples, thinking about the problem.

The fully functional Death Star was going to need hundreds of thousands of qualified technicians and operators, familiar with the systems of the vast battle station, and so many of the men who knew much about the Death Star at the moment were busy building it.

There hadn't been many left after the destruction of the first battle station, because most of them had been working on it at the time.

"All right," he said. "So your proposal is…?"

"We keep the same number of trainers for now, but abbreviate the course," the manager answered. "Two months – at most. Then we have the new graduates train the next batch for two months, and so on. Exponential growth. At twenty students per instructor and a hundred instructors to start with, we'll end up with eight hundred thousand in six months."

That was extremely tempting… they wouldn't be anything like the equal of what they should be, but they could learn on the job.

"All right," Jerjerrod said. "Approved – see to it."

One month previously…

"Next item on the checklist?" Commander Jaskier asked.

"Step one hundred and seven," Technician Mils replied. "Self test."

She pressed the self-test button, and the computer system clicked and flickered as it ran through the diagnostics.

Data results and readouts went up on the screen, and Jaskier and all the others in the control station watched the results.

None of them had any comment to make about the numbers. The checklist said to run the self test, so that was what they were doing.

"Step one hundred and eight," Mils went on. "Sign off on results."

She did that, as well, and Jaskier nodded.

"Good," he said. "And I believe we've finished that half an hour ahead of schedule! Good work, everyone."

Now.

The firing commands flashed out through the Death Star's systems, triggering a cascade of further commands, and the whole massive battle station's main superlaser woke for the first time.

Fifty XJ-15 hypermatter flow regulators controlled the flow of energy from the power core into the power collectors, and the energy being channelled into the system surged rapidly – rising to one hundred and eighteen percent of nominal, above what would have been anticipated, and greater than the one hundred and two percent that the older, more proven Sienar systems would have generated.

Thousands of high powered beams were generated, controlled and focused through an enormous array of Khyber crystals… a small but measurable fraction of which were cheap industrially grown diamonds instead, added to the shipments by subcontractors eager to stretch out their production from the strip-mined planet of Ilum without running so late on their deliveries that financial penalties were imposed.

None of the technicians who were in a position to spot the problem at this stage were actually capable of doing so. Their necessarily abbreviated training had mostly been on what buttons to push, and nobody had the deeper knowledge of the systems to recognize that the system was in an anomalous state.

Then some of the diamonds shattered under the load, allowing the beams free to damage adjacent systems, and in moments the whole of the energy drawn from the hypermatter core was unleashed.

The flash suppression systems were wholly, and fatally, inadequate.

"Watch yourself, Wedge!" Lando called, his head on a swivel, and banked the Falcon around so his ventral turret gunner could clear off one of the TIEs attacking Red Leader. "We've got to-"

Then there was a sudden blinding flash, and Lando did a double-take.

The Death Star's protective shield was instantly, and dramatically, visible – because the entire inside of it was full of plasma and flame, lighting it up as clearly as Ackbar's briefing had done back before the operation was launched in the first place. Then something blew up on the surface of the forest moon as the plasma followed the funnel of the shield, and the explosive force was no longer contained but began to drift out into space.

"...the kriff?" Lando asked, eventually. "What just happened?"

"Ow," Darth Vader said, indistinctly, reaching up to feel his helmet, which had been crushed in by an impact with the ceiling.

The Emperor's throne room seemed to mostly be intact, though there was an Emperor-shaped hole in the window nearest his throne, and Luke had his hands out to either side as he stood on the wall.

"Father, are you all right?" the younger Skywalker asked.

"What happened?" Vader replied. "I remember the Emperor ordering that the Death Star should fire…"

"I don't know, it exploded just after he said that," Luke answered. "It turns out that overconfidence was his weakness… do you have any idea where the nearest spaceship is? Keeping the atmosphere in is tiring me out a bit."