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2/10/2023
Charles Darwin
Charles "Monkey's Uncle" Darwin, Chuck D to close acquaintances, was born as a tadpole in the Northern Territory of Australia, slowly becoming a frog, a squirrel, a monkey, and a Neanderthal, before dying as a person. He is largely known for his theory that men and rednecks have a common ancestor from 5 million years ago called Chimpmen. Even less controversially, he suggested that monkeys descended from brutish humanoids known as Homo Erectus (lol, get it, erectus). Because of this, he is also known to be the starter of the war against religion and inspiring all atheists to choose him as the subject for their National History Day Project.