Evil Alien Conquerors

Earth is... perfectly safe.

Du-ug: Have you any more Smirnoff Ice?
Kenny: Yeah, there's half of one in the fridge.
Du-ug: You will die painlessly!

Their plans are complicated by a transmat malfunction, turning their mighty swords into tooth-picks. Nevertheless, they have 24 hours to decapitate every human being on Earth before the overlords send the head-eating giant CROKER!!! (Tyler Labine) to, uh, eat their heads.

---

This movie contains examples of:

• Alien Arts Are Appreciated:
  • My-Ik and Du-Ug fall deeply in love with Smirnoff Ice vodka coolers and the band Supertramp. They also consider Kenny and Ron's digs to be "An abomination!" which is great praise on Kabijj.
  • Kabijjians also seem to like fast food pretty well, since there's a huge lineup of them in the epilogue when the EAC's open a burger shack.
• Aliens Are Bastards: Their superiors want them to wipe out humanity and conquer Earth.
• An Alien Named "Bob": The aliens are named My-Ik, Du-Ug, Pe-Ny, and Ja-An. The only two strange names are Revere (which may be a title, as he's the alien King) and Croker (which isn't too far off from Kroeger).
• Aliens Love Human Food: Smirnoff Ice and cheeseburgers.
• Aliens Speaking English: the only word not in English is "Endus," which is used similarly to "Glory" or "Honour" (ex, "Endus for Revere").
• Bizarre Alien Biology: Kabijjians can reattatch severed limbs in an instant, and have no blood. Also, their males become pregnant.
• Bizarre Sexual Dimorphism: In Kabijj the men look like human males, but the women look...just plain weird.
• Call a Smeerp a "Rabbit": "Cats" are apparently a sort of edible plant on Kabijj.

  "Cat's bark? My appetite stirs..."

• Chewing the Scenery: "IT WOULD TAKE A THOUSAND OF YOUR TINY MEALS TO SLAKE MY GIGANTIC APPETITE!!!"
• Cross Cultural Kerfuffle: Kabijjians consider dire insults to be worshipful praise.
• Incoming Ham: CROKER!!! stomps into a restaurant, and screams at the diners.
• Incredible Shrinking Man: CROKER!!! is about 50 feet tall, until the same transmat malfunction that shrunk our heroes' swords shrinks him down to about 6 feet. He doesn't seem to notice, though.
• Large Ham: All the aliens are this, but especially CROKER!!!
• Little Useless Gun: Applied to swords, rather than firearms. The EAC's are equipped with Greatswords apparently fit to perform a planetwide campaign of genocide with at the start, but a Teleporter Accident shrinks their weapons down into itty bitty cocktail skewers unable to even slow Kroeker down, even though they hit him square in where the cartroid artery would be had he been human.
• No Indoor Voice: Two guesses.
• Running Gag:
  • The Transmat operator being knocked unconsious, which Revere finds hilarious.
  • Ron warning people "Don't to touch my sun chips and crystal geysers."
• Super-Scream: The EAC's discover midway through the movie that they can stun people by shreiking a sustained "EEE!!!" at them. It drops Mike's boss and reduces Ron to tears.
• Teleporter Accident: A plot-point is that the interstellar teleporter is very finicky. It actually hadn't destroyed the first wave of invaders ( who really just went into hiding), so they fixed it. They actually broke it. Now it randomly shrinks items (and people) sent through it, making My-Ik and Du-Ug's BFS's into cocktail skewers and their makeup kits into compacts. It also turns Kroker the Giant into a normal-sized man.
• Teleporters and Transporters: Kabijjians use a helmet-mounted teleport gun to invade other worlds.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Smirnoff Ice for the invaders, and Ron warns everyone not to touch his Sun Chips and Crystal Geyser bottled water.
• Toilet Humor: the Ceremonial Dunk.
• You Kill It, You Bought It: Kenny accidentally kills Revere and becomes the new King of Kabijj.

---