Movie Rehab - TV Tropes

"Welcome to Movie Rehab. Are you sane enough to escape the show?"

—SaG's Opening Catchphrase

• Accentuate the Negative:
  • Played straight in his earlier episodes, which Jack himself regrets retrospectively.
• Actually Pretty Funny: He found Milo's line "Mom it's Mars." to be kind of amusing.
• Berserk Button:
• Big "NO!": At the end of his Southland Tales review where he tries to deal with Trey Mar to kill him instead of Rumpy. Trey Mar then tells him that he's going to kill Rumpy anyway which then causes SaG to yell those exact words. Rumpy does get saved in the last second though.
• Catch Phrase:
  • "Welcome to Movie Rehab. Are you sane enough to escape the show?" His opening catchphrase.
  • Mad Libs Catch Phrase: "It's almost like this/it's suppose to be a/an <X> or something!" Whenever he gives a sarcastic statement regarding something that he feels certain movies are lacking.
  • "And with that said I hope you enjoyed this review and at last I have to say: I may be unfunny, but my points are still valid." His closing catchphrase.
• Caustic Critic: Played straight in earlier episodes, but got parodied in his Meet Dave and Religion Inc review. Up to that point, he became more calm and laidback.
• Cliffhanger: The second episode (Mars Needs Moms) ends with one and so does the Postal (2007) review.
• Cool Shades
• "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot: Discussed. He pointed out that if Craig would've just cemented the doors to John Malkovich's mind, then the entire chaos throughout the entire movie could've been easily avoided.
• Deadpan Snarker: His angry persona from earlier episodes got replaced with a calm but also sometimes more sarcastic personality.
• Designated Hero: Discussed. To put it nicely: He's not a fan of most of the characters in Being John Malkovich. (With the exception of John Malkovich and possibly Craig Schwartz)
• Determinator: He does this show since 2013 with only few episodes and even less viewers, yet it doesn't stop him from working on his reviews.

  SaG: I may be a nobody amongst thousands of internet reviewers, but that won't stop me from doing what I love to do.

• Early-Installment Weirdness: Oh boy how do we start?
  • His first episodes (except for his first episode, oddly enough) were shot with a cheap low quality hd cam which the worst audio quality imaginable.
  • Jack also played the Caustic Critic trope straight with his second and third episode, until he parodied this trope with episode 4 and 8.
• Endearingly Dorky: SaG is this way whenever he's happy but also everytime he's interacting with others.
• Episode Title Card: Every episode of Movie Rehab features a title card which were all drawn by Jack Skyblue himself. They can all be found on his deviantart profile.
• Fatal Flaw:
  • Discussed. The poor character writing in Being John Malkovich.
• Gratuitous Spanish: Barnabas breaks into it in after seeing a devilish Maxine in the Being John Malkovich review.

  Barnabas: La hija Del Diablo!

• He's Back!: Barnabas went through a near death experience, but he came back in a spectacular way to defeat Trama.
• It's Been Done: SaG has said he (possibly) won't review Man of Steel because he thought that Emer Prevost and Cecil Trachenburg already did a well enough job with that.
• I Work Alone: He hasn't made a crossover with anyone yet.
• Large Ham: Whenever he's angry.
• Malicious Misnaming: In-Universe example, he refers to Tyrion in his porn parody review to "This Ain't Game of Thrones" as "Turdion" due to how next to no resemblence the character has to the original.
• Manchild: Mature critical thoughs while still acting like a kid at heart.
• Moral Event Horizon: Discussed. He thinks that Maxine, Lotte and especially Dr. Lester had crossed it in Being John Malkovich as further as the movie movie goes.
• My Greatest Failure: Jack Skyblue himself has apologized himself numerous times in his commentary videos to his The A-Team and All About Steve reviews for the poor quality of his earlier videos.

• "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer:
  • Discussed. When he said that Lotte, who was usually a mediocre character to him, suddenly decides to kill Maxine, who was pregant at this point, he then decided to repeat that line to let it sink in any further.
• The One Thing I Don't Hate About You: As much as SaG hates Being John Malkovich he does like the premise and the creative use of special effects which he brings up in his review to the movie.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: He took off his sunglasses in order to give Dr. Lester a huge reason you suck speech, which from his tone alone, seems to be quite genuine.
• Orphaned Series: The series "Movie Rehab's Trailer Jailor" has been concluded after 12 episodes.
• Parody Displacement: Discussed. SaG said that he prefers the Being Ian episode "Being Principal Bill" over the original movie Being John Malkovich.
• Pet-Peeve Trope:
  • Please Subscribe to Our Channel: Jack Skyblue is not a fan of people doing that.
  • Butt-Monkey: Judging from his review to Being John Malkovich, he really seems to hate this trope or at least the way it's executed.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He gave quite a memorable one in his Being John Malkovich Review but there were actually three in the entire review:

  After Maxine decides to leave Lotte alone in favor of Craig in John Malkovich's Body:

  SaG: Well there we go: Unfunny, uncharismatic and completely shallow: The reason that I hate you Maxine is because you love to insult other people for who they are, yet you don’t seem to share any trade of skills yourself. You are nothing more than a coward who just stays around with people for your very own benefits or safety. And no she’s not clever by doing that, she just does it to make it more comfortable for herself. I really don’t understand what people are seeing in her character. Maxine doesn’t have any funny lines, is irredeemably unlikable and is also a complete hypocrite who makes fun of other people, yet she’s one of the most flawed characters in this entire movie. That’s the problem that I have with her and yes: There’s an even worse character in this film. I don’t want to believe it myself, but sadly: It’s true.

  Dr. Lester/Captain Mertin: We're gonna kill Maxine if you don't leave the body immediately!

  Craig Schwartz/John Malkovich: But I can't do that. I mean, if I leave Malkovich, then I'm Craig Schwartz again. No career, no money. Maxine will have nothing to do... She barely has anything to do with me now.

  Dr. Lester/Captain Mertin: Jesus, we're going to kill your wife, you fucking lunatic!

  Craig Schwartz/John Malkovich: God.

  Dr. Lester/Captain Mertin: Listen, Schwartz, Malkovich is our vessel. We're old. We're going to die if we don't get into him by midnight...

  SaG then takes off his sunglasses and then rubs his eyes out of anger.

  SaG: You know what: Fuck you Mertin! I am so sick and tired of your behaviour. You call Craig a lunatic? You are not the one to talk! I really hate the fact that you are stealing the identities of other people with the possibility that their remaining souls fade away into nothing through your takeover. Why don’t you just grow a fucking backbone and actually die with dignity like a decent human being? Oh yeah that's right: John Malkovich doesn’t seem to look like a person to you, he’s just another disguise that you can wear to hide your dirty old ass from death. The fact that Mertin doesn’t get any comeuppance for his actions sickens me beyond all reasons and kills all the positive aspects that I previously mentioned throughout the entire review. That’s quite an accomplishment really!

  After Dr. Lester/Mertin and his friends took over John Malkovich's Body.

  SaG: Mertin… I’m pretty sure that there’s a special place in hell for people like you. So if you should actually kick the bucket someday, the dying souls of Malkovich and company are celebrating a party while watching you and the rest of those old people suffer for all eternity.

• Record Needle Scratch: This happened after SaG discovered that nobody watched his This Ain't Game of Thrones review.
• Shout-Out:
  • He gave numerous ones to Doctor Who as of lately.
  • "The Return of the Vampire Bitches!" is one to the The Necro Critic's review of Van Helsing.
• Sir Swears-a-Lot: Parodied with the clone version of SaG called SaD.
• So Okay, It's Average: Discussed. He felt that Superman III was just that.
• Spell My Name With An S: It's not spelled Sag. The name is spelled SaG, just with a big G at the end.
• Spiritual Successor: He considers the spoof episode in Being Ian to have the same story better executed than the original movie Being John Malkovich.
• Take That!:
  • This little gem from his Being John Malkovich, after Maxine casual usage of the word "fag".

  SaG: Fag! Because, if you can't be funny be homophobic. It works well for Family Guy.

• Took a Level in Kindness: SaG started out as a caustic critic like most reviewers before him but ever since the Meet Dave review which revealed that he was drugged by pills that made him extra aggressive, he became much nicer with each new episode.
• They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: Discussed. He felt the plots of Southland Tales and Being John Malkovich could've been both executed better. For the latter movie however, he thinks that the animated series Being Ian did a better execution with the plot, despite being a parody of Being John Malkovich.
• Tranquil Fury: SaG may be a nice guy, but god forbid if a movie puts him the wrong way!
• Unstoppable Rage:
  • Goes into bouts of these in his Being John Malkovich Review.
• Video Game Movies Suck: Subverted: He though that Postal (2007) was actually a decent film... and that movie was directed by Uwe Boll no less!
• What Does She See in Him?: Discussed. One of his main complaints with Being John Malkovich in which he doesn't understand why Craig is keep trying to hit on Maxine if she frequently treats him like crap.
• What the Hell Is That Accent?: At the end of his review to the Doctor Who porn parody Doctor Whore he has gained an unclear sounding accent after touching a stone. He has since kept said accent in his reviews since. Whether there'll be a reason for it or not is not clear yet.