Spears' new record "In the Zone" of past album stylings | The Paly Voice

Britney Spears has now completely replaced singing with panting and moaning. She has finally abandoned her desperate claims of virginity and accepted that her forte is imitating a phone sex operator. Her sexual subliminal messages are now blatant sexual declarations. In short, Britney isn’t holding anything back anymore. And her new CD, In the Zone — explicit, honest and naughty — is her best work to date.

Anyone who expects depth or genuine emotion from Britney Spears is even more brainless than her music. Drawing comparisons between independent, deeply talented songwriters and Ms. Spears is like comparing Hemingway and Maxim, or Y Tu Mamá También and Cinemax late-night. She must be taken on her own terms, in the proper time and place. As confidence-boosting pre-party music or the high-energy background beat in a club, the CD delivers with style. Nobody wants to have their heartstrings tugged while theyÂ’re grinding on the dance floor. And with Britney, thereÂ’s certainly no danger of emotional overload.

Britney Spears and Madonna raised eyebrows when they collaborated for the first track on the album, “Me Against the Music.” Suddenly everyone wondered: was that passionate kiss at the MTV Video Music Awards just an attention-getting tactic or the start of a partnership — professional and/or otherwise? The lyrics certainly dance around hints of sexual tension between the two.

“Hey Britney/You say you want to lose control/Come over here, I’ve got something to show you.” Britney spends the duration of the video chasing Madonna around with a hungry look in her eyes. When she finally pins her against a wall and moves in, Madonna conveniently vanishes; apparently, she is merely one of Britney’s many sexual fantasies. Britney’s “people” must have drawn the censorship line slightly before a sex scene.

The final track on the CD, “Me Against the Music featuring Madonna — Rishi Rich’s Desi Kulcha Remix” spices up the lead track, layering Britney’s growls over Indian instruments such as an Algozee and a Tumbi guitar. The result is an irresistible dance song with an exotic, sensual flavor.

The most appealing song on the album is unquestionably “Toxic,” a catchy track which carries on the Indian theme, featuring “Bollywood” strings (according to the CD booklet) and harmonic minor scale tones. The hook — “With a taste of your lips I wanna ride/Your Toxic gun slippin’ on/A taste of a poison paradise/I’m addicted to you/ But you know that you’re Toxic/And I love whatcha do but you know that you’re Toxic” — has lodged itself firmly in my head and refuses to let go; it has been playing on repeat for several hours now.

Britney ventures into the hip-hop realm with “(I Got That) Boom Boom,” an edgy song featuring the rap duo Ying Yang Twins. The song is driven by the appealing, syncopated beat; it is sure to become a regular in the club circuit. When, as an experiment, I put the song on as background music in a room of about 30 tired students, most of them started tapping their feet or nodding their heads subconsciously. Even the self-proclaimed Britney-haters were moving. That’s powerful.

Of course, Britney throws in plenty of controversial lyrics that confirm once and for all that she has abandoned that whole virgin campaign. In “Breathe on Me,” she describes a particularly meaningful late-night exploit: “It’s so hot in here/Ohh, it’s so hot, and I need some air/And boy, don’t stop ‘cuz I’m halfway there/It’s not complicated, it’s just syncopated/We can read each other’s minds/One love united.”

In “Touch of my Hand,” the most hotly-debated track on the CD, Britney unequivocally discusses self-gratification.

“I shut myself out from the world/So I can draw the blinds and I’ll teach myself to fly...” When asked about the song’s message, Britney told The Sun Newspaper Online, “It’s a positive thing to indulge in yourself...I think if you say you don’t do it, you’re lying.” The song relies heavily on shock value, though. Once that wears off, it’s one of the weaker tracks on the album. The dynamics of the stringed instruments and Britney’s earnest tone suggest that the song is intended to be meaningful, but on an emotional level, it fails miserably.

There’s no possible way to interpret the lyrics, “Into the unknown, I will be bold/I’m going to places I can be out of control,” as having a deep or spiritual meaning. So the violins can exit stage left; there’s really no need for them.

The most transparent, irritating songs are “Outrageous” and “Brave New Girl.” They are pure bubble-gum, airy reminiscences of Britneys “...Baby One More Time” days, cast in a light-porn sheer. Britney’s attempt at rapping in “Brave New Girl” is worth a laugh, though.

So before entering the Zone, make sure you understand its mission statement. If you’re searching for understanding or inspiration... well, you’ve probably stopped reading this article. If, however, you’re looking for some “Boom, Boom” in your mundane week, or a little “Toxic” spice in your relationship, Britney’s growls, groans and moans can quite possibly carry you straight into your Zone of choice.