BONEHEAD JUST 1 OF KINDER NAMES

It`s amazing how sensitive our aldermen have suddenly become. They`re in a rage because they were described as ”boneheads” and ”political bums” in an editorial in this paper.

Actually, those are gentle words compared to some that I`ve used in trying to describe their antics.

I`ve checked my files and find that I`ve referred to some as thieves, crooks, pickpockets, shakedown artists, Mafia flunkies, draft dodgers, pocket- stuffers, snoozers and deadheads.

Now, I never said all of them fit this description. Only about 90 percent.

And considering that the criminal conviction rate among Chicago aldermen is higher than any felonious gang in the city, including the crime syndicate, they can`t very well claim to be role models for Eagle Scouts.

They`re also upset about the basic point of the editorial, which dealt with the question of lights at Wrigley Field.

The point was that some aldermen and other City Hall officials are trying to use the lights issue to blackmail The Tribune into being kinder to them and switching some of its editorial positions.

I don`t know why that upset them, since it happens to be true. What probably bothers them is that they can`t pull it off. Some of them mistakenly believe that because they`re adept at shaking down contractors and other businesses, they can muscle editorial writers.

They also can`t grasp the simple fact that this newspaper doesn`t own the Cubs and has nothing to do with the lights issue. The paper happens to be owned by the same parent corporation that owns the baseball team. The corporation also owns radio and TV stations and other newspapers. All operate separately.

Finally, the aldermen are angry because the editorial flippantly said that the Cubs should build a new Wrigley Field in the suburbs and move the team.

As I said, it was a flippant suggestion, not meant to be taken seriously. But in a way, it made a good point.

Here you have a baseball franchise, which is a business enterprise just like any other in this city.

It wants to improve its business position and thinks that 18 night games a year will help it do that.

But to play these 18 games, it needs City Hall`s approval. And it`s found that dealing with city government is like dealing with a bunch of lunatics. One day they say lights will be okay. The next day lights are out. Wait a minute, now lights might be okay. Let`s have a compromise. Let`s not. Who`s on first, what`s on second?

And what deep thinkers make these decisions?

Consider the chairman of the City Council committee that has pondered the lights issue.

His name is Bobby Rush. Background? He used to be ”defense minister” of the Illinois Black Panthers. His job in those days was to see how many automatic weapons he could stash in one room.

Now the former gun-toting Panther revolutionary is deciding the future of one of baseball`s oldest and most popular franchises.

At his side is the grim-faced Ald. Helen Shiller, a career revolutionary. As she once told her Uptown comrades: ”We must have the frame of mind that as revolutionaries we have (to) be able to solve any problem that comes our way. . . .”

I`m not sure what brand of revolutionary she`s brewing, although someone who worked with her says she`s sort of a Stalinist with a warm spot for Fidel. Shiller seems to think that anybody who has a savings account, owns property, pays the bills on time and doesn`t ask for a handout is an enemy of The People. Naturally, like many of the 1960s-bred radicals who despise the bungalow class, she came from upper-class comforts.

Besides being a revolutionary, though, Ms. Shiller appears to be something of a hypocrite.

Today she`s fretting about the terrible fate of the Wrigley neighborhood if, on 18 evenings out of 365, some middle-class Cub fans go to see a 7 p.m. game.

Strange, but a few years ago, some middle-class people in the Uptown neighborhood, which Ald. Shiller now represents, decided that they didn`t like the nearby scummy Skid-Row bars along Wilson Avenue.

They disliked the shootings, knifings and muggings that spilled from the bars into their neighborhood. The customers in just one of the bars racked up a remarkable record of 80 arrests in less than three months, including one murder.

The residents hoped to shut the bars by voting the precinct dry. But that wasn`t easy. Others were working just as hard to get out votes to keep the bars open.

And the friends of the bars included something called the Heart of Uptown Coalition, which was run by Shiller and Slim Coleman, her mentor and fellow revolutionary.

Why was Shiller so fond of violence-prone saloons? Because she believed that a bunch of elitists were trying to gentrify the neighborhood and hurt The People. I suppose that might be a valid complaint. If you get rid of muggers, head-busters, dope dealers and pimps, a neighborhood might go a bit upscale.

But her main motive was that she was building a political power base, which included as many winos as she and Coleman could drag to the voting booth.

The saloons won and are still open, and as a cop up there tells me:

”There can`t be a sleazier stretch anywhere on the North Side.”

But now Shiller worries about what fiendish acts Cub fans will commit against the neighbors of Wrigley Field.

No, the Cubs aren`t going to move to the suburbs. But when you consider that the country`s third largest city is now being run by a crew that includes the traditional pocket-stuffers of both races, a couple of crime syndicate lackies, an ex-Black Panther, a career revolutionary, and other assorted oddities, it wouldn`t be a shock if they, or any other business, did.

In fact, looking at that crowd, I sometimes wonder why any sane person sticks around this town.

Originally Published: February 12, 1988 at 1:00 AM CST