UglyDolls Reviews

From that one line of toys that was popular in the early 2000s comes the big-screen debut of UglyDolls over 10 years too late! I really didn’t want to see this movie. I’ve seen the trailer way too many times both in front of YouTube videos and movies at the dollar cinema and it just looked bad. However, it showed up on one of the library’s free streaming services recently so I thought I may as well give it a watch and boost the number of 2019 films I’ve seen. Now usually with these reviews I like to let the film sit for a day or two before sitting down and writing a review. However, if I do that with this movie I think I might actually forget everything about it. It’s that kind of movie. Imagine, if you will, a movie that’s basically a mix of Toy Story, The LEGO Movie, Trolls and Shrek. Now think about how that movie would go. You got it? Now add in a bunch of generic-sounding pop songs and bad jokes. There. You’ve seen UglyDolls. It does absolutely nothing new, which on its own I don’t think is a bad thing. I love Star Wars, Avatar and Stranger Things and all of those do absolutely nothing new. I have no idea why I brought that up because this movie is not enjoyable or entertaining despite the story being done before. It’s just so painfully generic and cookie-cutter, which is ironic because the movie is all about being unique. Actually, let’s talk about the moral for a minute. While it isn’t a bad moral, it is waaaaaayyyyyyyyy too heavy-handed, preachy and unsubtle! Like I said before, Shrek pretty much had the exact same moral and did it a million times better, and that was just under 2 decades ago! Also, holy crap Shrek is as old as I am. Anyway, back to the review! The animation, while colourful, just didn’t look quite right to me. Something about the way the characters moved and how they were textured just looked a little off. It’s no Pixar, but it’s above TV-quality animation which I guess is the bare minimum for something like this. Speaking of the characters, they are also very generic. Half of the main characters aren’t even set up or established at all, they just kind of show up! The voice acting also left a lot to be desired. This movie has a cast of celebrities, mostly music artists, and I mostly just saw them in the recording booth and not as their characters. None of the comedy worked for me either. Also, my favourite comedian Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias played one of the main characters and I didn’t even notice until the very end! He barely has any lines! He certainly never says anything funny! I have no idea why nobody hires him to do more major roles in animated projects. His whole schtick is telling stories with funny voices, he’s perfect for animation but for some reason nobody uses him correctly. Anyway, this movie was also a musical. It has original songs but, much like The Greatest Showman, they sound so poppy that it may as well be a jukebox musical. While the songs are catchy and performed well, you don’t hire so many artists for an animated movie and don’t have them sing, they are also very forgettable, the lyrics aren’t great and they are all, once again, generic. That’s this movie summed up in one word: generic. Also, one last thing I need to mention is that I really don’t understand how the universe of the film works. It isn’t like in Toy Story where they’re just toys that come to life in the real world. It’s more like The LEGO Movie where it takes place in a parallel toy dimension except it makes a lot less sense. It’s hard to explain but you’d see what I mean if you saw the film, which I really don’t recommend you do. If you need Uncle TV to babysit your kids for an hour and a half, this is fine to throw on (There’s nothing scary and there aren’t any dirty jokes are anything. It’s clearly meant for younger kids.) but something good and more original would also be fine to throw on. Just don’t bother with this movie. You will gain nothing from watching it. Just watch Toy Story or The LEGO Movie or Shrek instead. One last thing. Robert Rodriguez both produced and wrote the story for this movie. I just thought that was interesting. That is all I have to say. UglyDolls leaves me with nothing, which just might be the worst thing a movie can leave you with.