France 5-2 Iceland: Euro 2016 quarter-final – as it happened

Full time: France 5-2 Iceland

Peep peep! For a meaningless second half, that was pretty enjoyable. France go through to meet Germany; Iceland have done themselves proud even in a 5-2 defeat. The XI who started all five games are already legends of Icelandic football. France will hope to achieve the same status in their own country in the next seven days.

Thanks to Iceland for making football fun in the last few weeks. And thanks to whichever higher power decreed that France will face Germany in the semi-final, because that will be an epic even before a ball is kicked. Thanks for your emails and company; I’ll leave you with this from Niall Mullen.

In the second half Iceland played as though they knew that none of them would be slaughtered for giving a tour of their mother’s house.

89 min “Hello Rob,” says Kari Tulinius. “You’re right that the Icelandic team’s run to the quarterfinals will be the subject of countless future documentaries. We Icelanders are incredibly proud of “strákarnir okkar” (which means “our boys”). The team will be greeted by tens of thousands when they get home, all singing the supporters’ anthem, “Ég er kominn heim” (I Have Returned Home). Enjoy the final minutes!”

Too right. It’s rare these days that you find a happy story without a catch, but that’s what this has been.

87 min The right-back Saevarsson surges into the box, draws Lloris and squares it across the six-yard box. Mangala gets there first to put it behind for a corner, without which it would probably have been 5-3.

86 min Griezmann ushers Sissoko into the box with a gentle angled pass. Sissoko wallops it into orbit.

85 min Coman’s low shot is comfortably saved by Halldorsson.

GOAL! France 5-2 Iceland (Bjarnason 84)

Iceland have turned a thrashing into a minor triumph. Their spirit is so impressive. Skulason swings over an excellent deep cross from the left, and Bjarnason steers a precise header away from Lloris’s dive and into the net.

84 min A nice moments for lovers of humanity: Eidur Gudjohnsen, aged 37, comes on for Sigthorsson.

83 min Coman plays the ball into Gignac, who unselfishly decides not to shoot from near the touchline with his back to goal and instead returns to Coman. He moseys down a blind alley and is dispossessed.

81 min “I imagine,” says Ian Copestake, “that whenever Cantona sees the France coach swigging water he mumbles the word ‘carrier’.” Well, when he’s in public.

80 min Another France change: Kingsley Coman replaces the adorable Dimitri Payet, who scored another excellent goal and generally played like the unique genius he is.

77 min “As an Arsenal fan,” says Venki Murthy, “I may finally get to witness a killer Ozil pass that gets finished by Giroud. Oh, wait…”

Never say never.

75 min “So,” says Adam Hirst. “Giroud destroying Iceland. Five centre forwards and I bet England would have been far more effective if they’d taken Andy Carroll. Townsend + Carroll would have been a good combo for Slovakia and Iceland.”

I would have taken both, especially Carroll, but it wasn’t easy. Who could you have left out for Carroll? One of the midfielders I suppose given that Rooney was playing there. Actually yes, you could have left out Barkley who was clearly never going to play.

74 min Umtiti is booked for a cynical block on the breaking Gudmundsson.

73 min Gunnarsson is penalised for an impromptu wrestling manoeuvre on Griezmann, shoving him unceremoniously to the canvas. It didn’t help that Griezmann weighs less than Gunnarsson’s beard.

72 min Koscielny, who is on a yellow, is replaced by Pep Guardiola’s recurring nightmare, Eliaquim Mangala.

71 min This is going to sound patronising, though it’s not meant as such: Iceland’s lack of self-pity in the second half has been pretty admirable. They could easily have thrown it in but they are playing with more attacking purpose than at any time in the tournament.

70 min France are getting lots of opportunities on the break. Sissoko marauds down the centre of the pitch and plays it left to Payet. He stumbles past his man, who falls over, and then his attempted cut-back deflects off a defender towards goal. Halldorsson sticks out his right leg to divert it wide.

69 min Did you know Iceland have had 72 per cent possession in the last 15 minutes? With an appropriately roguish delivery and a soupcon of eye contact, that could be a great chat-up line.

68 min Gignac really, really, really, really, really wants to score a goal. A loose ball comes to him in the box, he gets caught in one mind but is so excited that he slips and lumps it out of play.

67 min “Is #dickmove trending yet?” asks Ian Copestake. “ Surely the finest addition to the English language since Shakespeare said “doth” a lot.”

65 min “Hey Rob,” says Andre Vale. “Sorry to disagree, but the decision to enlarge to 24 teams has nothing to do with it. Iceland won their group, so they would have been in either way.” Didn’t the Czech Republic win that group? Not that it really matters - I should have said that I meant the smaller teams generally.

63 min Lloris makes a spectacular save from Ingason’s close-range header. That was very similar to Fabien Barthez’s crucial save from Abel Xavier that kept France in Euro 2000, and required equally superb reflexes.

62 min This has a breezy end-of-term feel now. Iceland are going home, France know flip will get real when they play Germany. As such there are plenty of chances at both ends, with an Iceland player - whose name we must withhold for legal reasons because I wasn’t paying attention - hitting a bouncing ball over the bar from the edge of the box.

61 min “I once (1984?) saw Newcastle United go into half time 4-0 up at QPR,” says Mac Millings. “Final score? 5-5. QPR, QED.”

60 min Giroud, who is on a yellow card, gets a nice ovation as he is replaced by Andre-Pierre Gignac. He’s on a hat-trick but he knows what time it is, and he smiles warmly as he embraces Deschamps.

GOAL! France 5-1 Iceland (Giroud 59)

Well that didn’t take long. Giroud restores the four-goal lead with a towering header from an excellent Payet free-kick. Halldorsson came for it and got nowhere. That’s Giroud’s last touch of the match.

58 min Bjarnason is booked for a bad tackle on Giroud and will miss the semi-final.

GOAL! France 4-1 Iceland (Sigthorsson 56)

See, even Dame Fortune has fallen for Iceland’s charms. This is a really nice consolation goal. Gylfi Sigurdsson on the right whips a brilliant curling cross into the corridor of uncertainty at the near post, where Sigthorsson stabs it first-time past Lloris.

55 min It’s a shame to see Iceland tonked like this. But, as Glenn Hoddle says on ITV, it doesn’t change anything. This is the time of their lives, and not even a 7-0 defeat here would stop a slew of documentaries in June 2041. They have enriched the tournament so much with their laid-back charm, their commentary and even their long throws. The smaller teams have added so much. For this tournament, if not necessarily in the long term, the decision to have 24 teams has been a triumph.

52 min Whether France win the tournament or lose 7-1 to Germany in the semi-final, this is probably the last time they will be able to relax and enjoy themselves in the tournament. That’s exactly what they are doing, passing the ball around lazily in an unwitting homage to the 1984 side. Pogba then rifles a shot not far wide from 25 yards.

50 min Almost a fifth goal. Griezmann overruns the ball in the box and is tackled; the loose ball comes to Payet, who slices a half-volley high over the bar from the edge of the box.

48 min “This is putting England’s efforts into a little perspective in’t it,” says Adam Hirst, “as if Wales didn’t already do that on Friday.”

Niall Mullen, meanwhile, sends nothing but this link.

47 min The only concern for France is that Giroud and Koscielny are on yellow cards; I’m surprsed they weren’t pulle taken off at half-time.

46 min Peep peep!

Iceland are making two half-time substitutions: Alfred Finnbogason and Sverrir Ingason replaces Bodvarsson and Kari Arnason.

“I think the Germans will will that semi final easily,” says Kelvin. “France can’t defend as well as the Italians did yesterday and they’ll probably be defending for 80 of the 90 minutes. A Wales-Germany final beckons.”

Erm, first of all, who says France will be in the semi-finals? But seriously folks, France do have a mental block against Germany; their performance against them in the World Cup quarter-final was pathetically meek. But they are at home and they have added Payet and Kante. I’d make Germany slight favourites because, as you say, France’s defence is ropey and so far untested. If there’s an early goal it could be a classic. To many it’ll feel like the final.

Replays show that Giroud was offside for the first goal, though it was really tight and almost impossible to give.

So, France v Germany will meet in a semi-final for the first time since the World Cups of 1982 and 1986. That’ll be an occasion of rare intensity. I can’t remember what happened the last time Germany faced the hosts in a semi-final.

A bit of half-time reading on Our Pep

Half-time: France 4-0 Iceland

Peep peep! France have a slender lead going into the second half, but will be wary of an Iceland fightback. Trust me, it would be a dick move to suggest this game is over. See you in 10 minutes.

Matuidi (I think) played a crisp low pass forward to Giroud, who tried to flick it behind the defence for Griezmann. I’m not sure whether he got a touch or not but it didn’t matter because Griezmann scooted past the flat-footed Arnason, drew Halldorsson and dinked the ball gently over him. Lovely goal.

GOAL! France 4-0 Iceland (Griezmann 45)

Antoine Griezmann makes it four!

It was a nice goal, lots of quick passing and then a cross from the right from Sissoko that eventually came to Payet on the edge of the D. He moved it onto his left foot, away from the defender, and dragged a precise low shot into the far corner.

GOAL! France 3-0 Iceland (Payet 43)

Dimitri Payet makes it three!

41 min Iceland have not collapsed since the second goal, far from it, but they do look like a team who know it’s over.

38 min After another long passing move, Payet gets the ball on the left of the area and lofts it back to the onrushing Matuidi, who slices his volley well wide from 25 yards.

36 min France are keeping the ball for extended periods now. Then, out of nowhere, Pogba plays a brilliant disguised pass to start a move that falls down when Payet picks the wrong option on the edge of the box.

34 min Evra surges down the left and is fouled by Gudmundsson. The referee gives nothing.

31 min Another long throw from Gunnarsson is headed clear by Evra. Glenn Hoddle makes the good point that the wet ball doesn’t help Gunnarsson.

29 min France are playing a bit of olé football, albeit without the actual olés, and they have another corner on the right. This time it’s taken by Payet rather than Griezmann, and Gylfi Sigurdsson heads it clear.

26 min “Quite the dick move to say a game is ‘surely over’ at 2-0 with 70+ minutes to play,” says Evan Ouellette, our Dick Move Correspondent.

25 min Iceland almost score again from the long throw. It was beautifully worked, flung flat and fast from the right by Gunnarsson to Sigthorsson, who headed it dangerously towards the six-yard area. The stretching Bodvarsson got to it first but was under pressure from Umtiti and could only lob it over the bar.

24 min I wonder what poor old Roy Hodgson is doing tonight.